[ He frowns faintly, reluctant. There aren't many acceptable options in front of him. He can't play Shaxx off. He can't tolerate pushing him away either; that's what he watched Kiryu do for twenty years. It should be so simple, just swallow his pride and own his vulnerability. Scars come from survival. We all carry our own damage. It should be so simple.
But for a moment he'd understood the appeal of leaving for Okinawa. Just dropping all the weight and going somewhere else. He presses the tip of his tongue to the point of one tooth for a moment. ]
I love you.
[ Outside of sappy scenes on TV, it's not how Japanese people express that. There's something awkward and unfinished in the utterance. Love is an action without direction when put into aishiteru. Inherently helpless. ]
And I didn't expect you back.
[ His frown deepens. He should be elated, but in reality it twinges.
Is he disappointed in himself because he wasn't going to wait. Or is he disappointed that he put himself in this position in the first place. Or is it that losing the people he loves still turns him into a stricken nineteen year old? Maybe it's that he can't seem to get hold of any of it and exert his control. Daigo has grace for everyone except himself. He's never quite enough for himself. ]
no subject
But for a moment he'd understood the appeal of leaving for Okinawa. Just dropping all the weight and going somewhere else. He presses the tip of his tongue to the point of one tooth for a moment. ]
I love you.
[ Outside of sappy scenes on TV, it's not how Japanese people express that. There's something awkward and unfinished in the utterance. Love is an action without direction when put into aishiteru. Inherently helpless. ]
And I didn't expect you back.
[ His frown deepens. He should be elated, but in reality it twinges.
Is he disappointed in himself because he wasn't going to wait. Or is he disappointed that he put himself in this position in the first place. Or is it that losing the people he loves still turns him into a stricken nineteen year old? Maybe it's that he can't seem to get hold of any of it and exert his control. Daigo has grace for everyone except himself. He's never quite enough for himself. ]